DJ Borgore’s song ‘Decisions’ featured Miley Cyrus as a vocalist, and the much talked about music video has finally premiered. Yeah, about that…

Last week I posted about how crazy the hype was for this music video, and how everyone was freaking out over a porn star (Jessie Andrews to be exact) was going to be in this video with Miley Cyrus. I, however, was more concerned over why her fiancé Liam Hemsworth was making out with her while wearing a unicorn (horse?) mask. Well the video has finally premiered, and it’s real F’n weird guys. Take a look:

Guys, I don’t get it. No matter how hard I try to wrap my mind around it…. I just can’t. It doesn’t make any sense. First of all, Miley’s boobs are all over the place. I am a heterosexual female, but all I could do the majority of the video was stare at her chest. Second of all, did anyone even notice Jessie Andrews in there? I mean, I’m not familiar with her work or anything, but with all the cake and strange happenings I don’t even know which girl Jessie was… Luckily for all of us DJ Borgore posted a behind the scenes video “explaining” everything from the lyrics to the set up…

Nope…. I still don’t get it. That seems like an awfully deep meaning when the lyrics are about how much bitches love cake and how you have to choose between family and a porn star. While I don’t like the song at all, and actually am more on the side of kinda hating it, it’s f’n catchy as hell. I don’t even really like cake all that much. This video is just so weird. I have so many questions. 1) What is the point? 2) Why is Liam wearing that mask? 3) Why does Miley’s tongue looks so long? 4) Why would anyone buy that shirt? None of these questions appear to have any sort of answer. Miley said in an interview that she just walked in and it was this big, dope party and they had a lot of fun. Maybe that was the point. To just have a ton of fun. I mean, cake fights are fun at parties and stuff. Let’s just go with that.

It’s pretty well known that Miley is changing. She’s growing up and becoming a new version of herself, and I support that. She’s engaged, she cut off all her hair, she sticks her tongue in horse masks, and none of it is because she’s having a Britney style meltdown. She’s just… growing? Jessie (who apparently did not meet Miley while shooting the video) said it best.

“I understand where she’s coming from, trying to break away from that. She doesn’t want to be Hannah Montana anymore; she wants to be her own person. … The way she’s dressing, the hair, the music — everything is outside of the box. It didn’t really surprise me.

She’s right, it really shouldn’t surprise us at this point. What should surprise us, however, is that Miley got a $1 million deal from Martin Ellison (from of Sex.com) to appear in a girl-on-girl softcore porn with Jessie…. UHM. According to an article over at Huffpost, Martin was “floored” by how sexy the girls looked in the video. I mean, Jessie has been in over 100 videos, but just because Miley is trying to grow up doesn’t mean she’s trying to get with a girl on camera. It’s not like the needs the money. While weirder things have happened, I think it’s safe to say that she’s not far enough down the crazy trail to accept something like that. Or, at least not that I know of.

UPDATE: There are mixed reports about the softcore porn situation, but the majority seem to be reporting that she was offered the million dollars to just make out with Jessie on camera. That’s much less crazy than I had previously read about.