Dina and Lindsay Lohan get into a domestic abuse, Michael Lohan somehow gets publicity from it. Normal night for the Lohans.

Dina and Lindsay Lohan spent the night partying together at the Electric Room inside Dream Downtown in NYC, which apparently led to an altercation on the drive back to Dina’s house on Long Island. On the drive there, Lindsay called her father Michael crying, talking about how she’s dead to her mother and her bracelet is broken and her mom owes her $40,000 and and and. I mean, it’s like a badly written CW drama. Of course, theres audio of Michael and Lindsay’s phone call that was acquired by TMZ. AKA, Michael recorded it and sold it to TMZ to either A) screw Dina, B) get more publicity, or C) all of the above. I’m thinking the answer is C, I mean…. the answer is always C.

As of this time, I’m having trouble embedding the video. You can go to TMZ’s website to listen to the audio by clicking this link: Lindsay Lohan — ‘Dad, [Mom’s] On Cocaine!’

For those of you that don’t want to listen to the audio, the fight was pretty simple. After partying until 4 in the morning together, Lindsay wanted to go to her hotel in NYC, and Dina wanted to go to her home in Long Island so she wouldn’t have to pay for a cab ride there. The driver ignored Lindsay and only listened to Dina, and started driving to Long Island. Lindsay calls her dad, who apparently is her new BFF since her mom isn’t cooperating. Her dad insists that they are kidnapping Lindsay, and says it probably 50 times (exaggerating, of course). Lindsay says that her mom left a giant gash in her leg and is saying that Lindsay is dead to her now, which Dina then confirms. Honestly, this whole story is absolutely ridiculous. Why couldn’t the driver drop Lindsay off at her hotel and then head to Long Island for Dina? Does no one in this world have any common sense? And why did the driver allow them to have a physical confrontation inside his car? Enough of a confrontation for their to be a giant gash in her leg and a diamond bracelet to be broken. Which, side note, why are you wearing a diamond bracelet to a club in the first place? It was first reported that the argument got physical at Dina’s home, but in the audio Lindsay tells her father that they are in the car together. She also told her dad that Dina is on cocaine, which would not be surprising. At all. This is one family full of crazies. The next morning Lindsay and Dina were caught hugging outside of Dina’s home. So, clearly this was a big deal.

I also need to make a statement. MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS HAVE NO BUSINESS PARTYING TOGETHER. Get it together people. How ridiculous? There’s a show on VH1 called Mama Drama, and honestly it is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and of course I watch it. Mothers are mothers, not friends, not drinking buddies. You are supposed to be teaching your children lessons and being a role model and blah blah blah. Not getting drugged up and drunk right along with her. Especially when your daughter has a history of abusing things like drugs and alcohol. But what do I (or Dr. Phil) know? Also, you have NO business making out with your daughter, ever.